Me and my son Kurt
by Sarafina126
Summary: A series of short stories that contain moments during Burt and Kurt's life. The story begins when Kurt is an infant and will continue till reach the show's timeline and perhaps will go beyond. Fluff and angst galore.
1. The first meeting

**Author's note 1: I do not own- or will ever own- Glee and I just like to play with their lovely characters.**

**Authors note 2: Kurt's mom's name has not been mentioned on the show as far as I know (feel free to comment her real name if it has and I'll change it) so I just named her Linda. Hope it is not too distracting.**

**Enjoy!**

Kurt was a couple days old when I finally got to hold him.

Linda had Kurt early, far too early. Linda was barely 32 weeks along when she started feeling uncomfortable during the evening, and by the early time that the early morning started she was full on screaming. Just a day before I was wondering if I was even ready to be a good father, but I figured I still had times to sort things out... it seems Kurt had other plans.

The ride to the hospital was stressful to say the least. Usually Linda was so calm and soothing when she was talking to the baby in her belly; she would talk about her day or even sing her favourite songs to it. Now she was crying and begging for the baby to stop. _"_Baby, please, "Linda gasped, "I understand your antsy but please just _stop!" _Then she started to cry.

I never drove so quickly in all my life.

Linda had made me watch many baby shows during her pregnancy. "Oh, but _A Baby story_ is _adorable!"_ But those shows were never like this. Those couples got to stay together. They got to discuss their last minute baby names, they got to be impatient as the slow dilation process was taking forever; the women got to scream at the doctor for a epidural while the husband got to stand by awkwardly.  
>These shows didn't show the doctors looking alarmed before they took the wife carrying their child away and leaving the husband out there in the cold before he even knew what was wrong.<p>

I guess TLC just does not like to show those kind of moments- kind of a downer.

So I stayed in the waiting room, tapped my foot, looked at pamphlets which were about the rights things to do during a pregnancy as I tried to check list in my head if we did all those things. I couldn't even remember. My child was not even born yet and I was a crappy father already... if the baby even came. _Don't think that just stop, stop, _"STOP!"

Angry nurses and other bystanders looked in my direction, it looked like I had said that out loud. Oops.

Finally, after god knows how long, a doctor came by and said, "Mr Hummel?"

I quickly jogged in his direction and took of my cap; I didn't know the policy of hats in hospitals and asked "Where is my wife? And the baby?" I am not a person who usually panics but I figured this was a good time to do so. "Is everything okay?" 

"Your wife was having complications, and we had to do an Emergency delivery." The doctor, whose name I never properly got, was looking seriously in my direction. "Your wife is sedated but stable."

"And the baby?"

The doctor smirked a little, "I was getting there," His smirk disappeared then. "Mr. Hummel, your baby was born sooner than we would have liked, and when this happens this can cause complications."

My whole body froze "Complications?"

Mr. Doctor nodded and said, "Your child has a condition called Apnea and it is fairly common in premature infants."

As if that was supposed to make me feel better.

"And what the hell is _that_?" I may had said that a bit louder than I would have liked, angry nurses had looked my way again.

To Mr. Doctor's credit he didn't seem fazed at all by my outburst. "Apnea is a condition in which the infant forgets to breathe for a certain period of time." My face must have looked horrific because the doctor raised his hand kindly and added "Don't worry, like I said this is common in immature infants and very treatable." Then he was back into business mode again. "This usually occurs because the infant's brain has not developed enough to remember to take breaths. But we have different ways to kick that into gear and I assure you after some time, if no other complications occur, everything should develop normally."

I rubbed the top of my head like I usually do when I get stressed. "When can we take the baby home?"

"It usually depends on how long the Apnea lasts. We do not release babies from the NICU until they breathe on their own without interruptions for at least 24 hours and sometimes even longer. "Mr. Doctor seemed to be used to stressed fathers and put a hand on my shoulder. "Your child is in good hands, Mr. Hummel. Your son is still being prepared in the NICU, but I assume you would like to see your wife?"

"Yes please," But then a sudden important thought came to me, "Wait- did you say son?"

The doctor smiled. "Yes, you have a baby boy. Congratulations."

For the first time that night my chest lightened a little. "Thank you."

"I'll go take you to see your wife."

o-o-o-o

The next few days passed like a blur. When Linda came to, I told her everything I could and I held her as she got upset. She somehow got it into her head she did something wrong while she was pregnant and this was all her fault and I wouldn't stand for it."

"Baby, you are the most responsible person I know," I whispered to her "these things just happen."

Linda sniffed and grabbed my hand. "We still need a name." Her blue eyes bored into mine.

"Didn't you say you liked Kurt?"

Linda then smiled as if that was the best name she ever heard. "I love Kurt."

I smiled and I hoped it even came close to match the beauty that was being portraying on her face.

"Then Kurt it is."

I kissed her and it occurred to me it was not just the name she had said she loved.

o-o-o-o-o

When Kurt was ready we finally got to meet him, and I don't think I could possibly describe how I felt. On one hand, he was so _small_ and looked so vulnerable in his little unit. Linda had rightfully pointed out that there were babies around him who were even smaller that were hooked to so many machines that they couldn't find the poor child, so that out Burt a _bit_ into perspective.

It was when Kurt opened his eyes fully that I got filled with feelings I didn't know I had. His eyes were Linda's, they were _hers. _They were big, they were blue and if Kurt was big enough to smile I am sure he would be smiling with his eyes like Linda does.

Suddenly I was a father. I knew that fact before, but it was only then that I truly felt it. This was my son. This was the boy I knew I would spend my life protecting until my last breath. Maybe I was right before when I thought I would not be a good father, but there wasn't a damn way I was not going to try my hardest.

When Kurt was well enough I was able to hold him and those fatherly feelings came back. I was filled with dreams of me and Kurt watching games together and playing together like a team. Maybe there was a tear in my eye or maybe there wasn't, but it looked like Kurt was trying to raise his little hand so I took it and wrapped his little fingers around one of mine. He was far too young, but I like to think that he smiled then.

At that moment there was nothing I loved more and that has not changed.

**Hope you liked the first chapter! This will be a continuing series of moments in Burt's and Kurt's life so stayed tuned. Reviews make me feel happy and giddy inside! **


	2. Baubie

**Authors note 1: Sorry it has taken me awhile to update! Final exams are killer. But, in good news, those are all done now, so I have time to continue this little story.**

**Authors note 2: Thanks so much for all the alerts and faves and thanks specifically to ****Rahswell,****sherisa,**** and ****Life'sjustducky**** for leaving such kind reviews. I know people normally message their reviewers, but I prefer to thank them here.**

**Disclaimer: See chapter one.**

Kurt was around three years old when I started to realise Kurt was a little different.

All the whole Kurt seemed like a normal child. Kurt outgrew his problems as a premature baby, and grew into a healthy boy. He loved to laugh, smile, and god knows me and Linda laughed when he would do his little dances when we put music on.

I would never change anything about my son but at that time he was a bit of a crier- no, _screamer. _God forbid he would hurt himself, or I took away his favourite blankie to wash, and he would scream bloody murder. I didn't know what to do with a screaming child, so I sort of just tried to do what could make him happy but sometimes that just made him cry harder. Linda was a goddess in these situations. No matter what the problem was with Kurt she would magically come up with some sort remedy that had Kurt up and dancing in no time. If I ever tried to do the same, it wouldn't really work as well. If I am being honest, I would often get jealous of the relationship Kurt and Linda had back then. Linda was Kurt's mother, of course he would be close to her, but it hurt when me and Kurt were alone together and he was screaming. Then again, knowing Linda would be there to help with Kurt was always comforting.

I did my best to try to get a real relationship started with me and Kurt. Before Kurt was born, I had daydreamt of Kurt and I going to games, bonding over sports and cars. Kurt was still young, but it wasn't a bad time to start. I bought Kurt toy cars, small jerseys of his daddy's favourite football and basketball teams and for my nostalgias sake, some small GI-Joes. 

Kurt played with these like any child would: He would play with the cars like he was driving them, he would wear the jerseys and exclaim over the bright colors and I would find the GI-Joe all over the house.

It was during an outdoor play date when I realised that dream I had with Kurt could be a bit out of my grasp. Kurt was at the playground, playing with a young girl who was a daughter of a family friend of ours. I was talking to her mother over at the bench, joking about the far possibility of our children getting together one day.  
>Kurt then ran up to me with his little legs and shoved a Barbie doll in my face.<br>"Daddy! Look at Brittany's doll! Isn't she _pretty?" _ Kurt's smile seemed too big for his little face and he was already starting to brush the doll's hair.  
>"The Barbie doll?" The doll was pure Barbie: Small waist, abnormally large rack, long blonde hair and a big pink dress.<p>

"Baubie?' His face scrunched up, confused on the word, and then just looked back at the doll happily. "Can I gets one?"

The woman next to me had a judging, confused look on her face which I wanted to smack so I just replied, "Not today, Kurt." 

Kurt looked disappointed, but got over it and just waddled his way and played with the Barbie with the young girl. As if my insides were not swarming uncomfortably enough, the mother had the nerve to add,  
>"Don't worry, I am sure he will grow out of it."<p>

Feeling a bit sick, I quickly said goodbye, took Kurt's hand, and drove him away from that Barbie and the thoughts plaguing my mind.

o-o-o-o

The Barbie made a re-appearance a couple of days later. One day after I finished work tired and dirty, Kurt happily ran to me with his little legs with his little hand waving that damn Barbie doll.

"Daddy! Daddy! Mommy got me Baubie!" This Barbie was wearing a purple gown and it seemed that Kurt had already began playing with her hair cause it was it some sort of atrocious new do. "You said that was her name, right?"

"Barbie," I corrected shortly.  
><em><br>"Bar_-bie," Kurt repeated, sliding his small fingers through her hair, and smiled at me brightly. "We go do our hair now- look _pretty!" _ and he ran off his new best friend.

I sighed and ran my hand though my receding hair. I didn't know what was wrong with me. What was so bad about a three year old playing with a girl's toy? Kurt probably _would_ grow out of it, but what if he didn't?

Linda came in the kitchen and began to prepare for Dinner. She was talking about her day as she cleaned all the vegetables but I admit I was not really listening because I sort of blurted, "So, Kurt has a Barbie doll."

Linda looked taken back by the random comment and then just shrugged. "Yeah, we went shopping today and Kurt really wanted it." Saying no more, she just continued to clean the vegetables.

"Well... isn't it odd for a boy to have a Barbie doll?" It kind of occurred to me how bad that sentence sounded as escaped my mouth-guilt making a common appearance lately.  
>Linda looked at me like I was crazy, mouth open a little and just said tensely, "It's just a <em>doll, <em>Burt."

I shut up after that.

O-O-O

Soon, my toys had a new usage during Kurt's playtime. The cars were being used as Barbie's way to get to the mall to shop or to the theatre. The GI-Joe was now Barbie's shopping partner and somehow one of her dresses made its way on to its body.

Kurt still wore the jerseys though. Even at that young age, Kurt still had that allusion that he needed to make me happy. It really just made me feel worse.

As years past, Linda and I silently guessed that it was more than just a doll thing. While other boys were signed up to mini league and sports, Kurt flat out refused to get his hands dirty and found toy make up much more fascinating. Linda's heels were more than just a way to get taller, and when Kurt started school, teachers were always awkward with me and Linda as if they thought there was something wrong with our kid. To say I had angry outbursts when the teacher called my son "different" in an almost disgust tone was an understatement.

To be completely honest I _did_ have trouble coming to terms with it, I still do sometimes. I would go through a cycle of thinking of the dreams I used to have and then feel incredibly guilty for even having those thoughts. Could I be that bad of a father?

I didn't help that Kurt and Linda even seemed to get closer out of all this. Not only did she have the magic ability to make all his hurt go away, they soon became shopping buddies and Linda introduced him into the world of musicals. Linda and Kurt would watch them together and I could see his eyes go wide as the characters sang and danced before him. I tried to like them, but they just seemed too impossible and corny to me. I remembered the word I used to call them when I was younger ,and then I looked at my son and felt sick with myself. I would have given anything to have a strong bond with my son, but I didn't know how. It was like I was incapable.

I sat in my favourite chair, the football playoffs playing in the background, but I was lost in my own thoughts.

"Daddy?"

I looked up, and there was my five-year old son looking up at me wearing his jersey. It was getting too small for him, but my eyes stung just the same. Kurt looked at the screen. "You said it was a big game."

"Yeah, big game." I rasped.

Kurt then plopped himself next to me and we squeezed both us in my chair. 'I don't get it."

I laughed a little. "Yeah, it's a bit complicated."

We tried watching the game but Kurt didn't really seem interested but, bless his soul; he sat there next to me anyways.

I then saw something yellow sticking out of the couch cushion. I pulled it out and it was one of Kurt's Barbie's. I handed it to him and he took it with a smile.

"She is pretty." I said to him.

Kurt's smile got wider. "Yeah! She is a princess in _Sound of Music. "_

I had to laugh at how ridiculous that sounded. "Oh yeah?"

Kurt told me all about her; the facts that he had made up, and then put his head on my shoulder and snuggled with me. At that point I was pretending to watch the game as much as he was. I kissed his head, breathed in his scent, and I never wanted to leave this moment. Things would still be rough, and I knew I still had obstacles to overcome with who Kurt was, but god knows if that boy next to me was not worth it.

**BLAH! Definitely not my best. I thought it came off a lot sadder than I would have liked. I know the next chapter is a lot lighter so that is good. Please review for it makes me feel warm and cuddly! just like Kurt and Burt's relationship! :D**

**BTW, how good was "Born this way?" I LOVED IT! So much better than NON. **_  
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	3. Tree climbing and ice cream

**Authors note: Many thanks to Ampria,****lis, SnazzMaster842, BigDestiny and rahzwell for such kind reviews on the latest chapter! As always it is extremely appreciated.**

**Authors note 2: A lovely reviewer kindly proved to me that I should not be writing these chapters in a late night setting, cause I apparently I make stupid mistakes over and over. I meant GI-Joes last chapter and for some reason I was writing **_**GIO's. **_***Face palm.* my extreme apologies.**

**Yet another Authors note: I meant to get this chapter up a lot earlier, but my computer shut down and deleted a bunch of the chapter that was already written. I admit I got frustrated after that. This chapter is longer than the others though so hopefully that makes up for it. **

Kurt was six years old when he first scared me half to death.

It started off as a normal day. I was at the garage, Big Mac and Coke resting wonderfully in my stomach, and I was arguing with a customer- no, _idiot_- about Basketball. Excuse me if I'm not going to listen to anyone yammering about the _Yankees. _

I was this close to accidently throwing a screwdriver at this guy's head when the shop phone started ringing.

"Excuse me," I said to the man, raising my finger at him, and picking up the phone. "Yeah?" Linda always told me that I needed to watch my manners when answering the phone but I was never the best at that.

"Burt Hummel? Father of Kurt Hummel?"

Maybe it's a father instinct, but my stomach always seems to drop a little whenever my son's name is mentioned on the phone. Too many horror stories out there.

I turned around so my back was only visible to the customer, even though that would make no difference and he could hear every word anyways. "Who's askin'?"

"I'm the Vice-Principal at Kurt's school, and it seems we have a bit of a problem..."

"What _kind_ of a problem?" I growled into the phone, Linda's advice long gone at that moment.

"Umm... well..." I was just about to lose my temper and tell her to _spit it out_ when she finally said, "It seems Kurt got himself stuck in a tree..."

There was a long pause as I tried to absorb what she just told me. "He _What?"_

The Yankee's idiot decided to speak up and squeak out, "Should I just go or-"My waving hand must have given him the correct answer and he scurried off. He's lucky I didn't give him the finger.

"What do you mean my son is stuck in a _tree? _How does a school even let this happen?"

"I understand your frustration, Mr. Hummel. We normally deal with issues such as this on our own..." there was a sigh. "Kurt just absolutely refuses to come down."

I also gave an audible sigh. Stubborn kid that boy is. "Is he alright?"

"He seems ok actually- more scared if anything. I am sorry I can't give you many more details."

"Do you need one of us to come down?"

"That would be best."

"Alright..." Usually Linda was the one who deals with this kind of stuff but Linda had been quite sick lately and there was no way I was going to wake her to just give her a scare... "Alright..." I repeated, "I'll be there ASAP."

"Thank you, Mr. Hummel-"

I hung up before she finished. I really needed to work on my manners.

O-O-O-O

There is a strong plausibility I broke a few speed limits on the way to the school. I didn't even know _how_  
>Kurt got stuck in a tree. Kurt never climbed his trees. Kurt never liked to get dirty in any way and he never struck me as a kid who liked heights or adrenaline rushes.<p>

Was it peer pressure? Was it a cry for attention? Did Kurt really like climbing trees and I didn't know him as well as I thought?

So many thoughts...

O-O-O-O

When I finally got to the school, I parked the car in a spot that most likely was not a parking zone, and I dashed to the playground.

It was pretty easy to see where the commotion was. There was a small crowd around one spot in the playground with kids and adults alike.

I finally got to the tree and sure enough, there was Kurt on one of the upper branches looking terrified.

I had to give him credit for finding one of the largest trees in the whole playground. Kurt was sitting on one of the thicker upper middle branches, his hand holding a branch just above him, his hair flat and wet on his for-head.  
>"Kurt!" I called up to him.<p>

His young eyes wondered frantically for a moment, and then finally found my face. Thankfully some relief flooded his face that looked petrified before. "Daddy?" Kurt gasped out. 

"I'm here." I tried to get a better look at the tree and how the hell Kurt climbed up that high. "How did you get up there?"

Kurt held the upper branch tighter for a better grip. "I climbed."

_Well, no shit._

I closed my eyes to ease my frustration. "Ok, _why_ did you climb up there?"

Before Kurt could open his mouth and answer, another squeaky voice answered beside me. "It was not our fault! He _chose _to go up there! We didn't make him!" This boy had dark hair and dark eyes. He was wearing a necklace that had a little skull on it. He struck me as a kid who desperately wanted to act tough, but really wasn't. But if there was one thing I learned from school, it was that when a kid says "it's not our fault" when not asked, they usually have something to do with it.

"That's not true!" Kurt squeaked from up the tree.

A woman who also had dark hair took the hand of the young boy. "Let's just go, Noah." And the boy left without daring to look at me.

"Daddy?" Kurt called again.

I rubbed my hand on my for-head. "Yes, Kurt?"

Tears started to form in Kurt's eyes. "I am scared." His voice was so soft when he said that.

God-admit. If that couldn't break anyone's heart then I don't know what could. "I know, buddy." I judged the tree and its branches. "Is there any way you can come down on your own?"

"I _tried!" _ Kurt wailed.

"Ok... ok, ok ok." Clearly I had to climb up part of the tree myself, but truth be told I was not in the best shape and I hadn't climbed much of anything since I actually had head full of hair. "Kurt, I am going to climb part of the tree and meet you, okay?"

"We tried that, "said a teacher beside me. "He just got more nervous and stayed put."  
>Again, damn stubborn kid.<p>

"Ok, Kurt?" Kurt looked at me looking terrified again. 'I am going to come up, and you _have_ to try, okay? It's just me. Nobody else." Kurt tightened his hand on that branch once more, and then nodded.

Okay... I didn't know how the hell I was going to do this. I went up to the tree, put one hand on one branch, my foot on another, and just when I put a bit of weight on it, the branch holding my foot broke. I swore, and sure enough there was a giggle coming from above. _Seriously? I am climbing up a tree and he's laughing at me?_ But my son was stuck in a damn tree, so I sucked up my frustration and put my foot on a thicker branch. Thankfully this one supported my weight so I was able to climb just a little bit. Finally, after some endless climbing and sweat falling down my face, I stood on a very thick bench with my knees bent. I was just a few branches below Kurt.

"Kurt?" for the first time Kurt stood a little on his bench. "That's good, buddy. "I need you to try climbing down, okay? It's not far it's- AHH!" Suddenly a form of limps jumped from above and I nearly fell trying to catch it. With a neat body effect I would never be able to do again in my lifetime, I caught an upper branch to support our weight, while also securing my other hand around Kurt's back and bum. I don't think my heart ever beat that fast as it was then.

"KURT!" I yelled, with his body now tight around mine. "What the hell was that?" father instincts kicking in hard, I held him even tighter. "I could have dropped you!"

"But you didn't." Kurt's voice was muffled for his head was pressed against my shoulder.

"No thanks to you." But there was a joking tone in my voice. "Ready to get down this tree?"

I felt Kurt nod, so I carefully made my way down the tree, keeping my balance on tree while Kurt was keeping a hold on me. When we finally reached the ground, I wanted to collapse; I am not sure if it was from exhaustion or relief. There was some small clapping from the small group of people, but neither me nor Kurt seemed quite interested for I was busy leaning on the tree and wiping my sweat and Kurt was retrieving something from behind the tree.

"Well! I must say that was quite dramatic! And this is coming from _me!" _

I looked to my left and there was a small girl around Kurt's age who had her long brown hair in braids and had her arms locked in disapproval.

Kurt came from around the tree and muttered, "Go away, Rachel," and stood beside me. I noticed he was holding his Barbie in his hands.

"Be nice, Kurt," I reminded him, and then I said to the crowed, "Well! That's all the drama for today! Goodnight." There were a few chuckles and they were ignored as I put my hand on Kurt's back and led him back towards the car.

O-O-O-O

The drive in the car was fairly silent. I was watching the road and not saying much, while Kurt was also silent and seemed busy getting the dirt out of his Barbie's hair.

"So..." I looked at Kurt, hinting him to continue from where I started, but he just stared back and was silent. I tried a different approach. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Kurt then just shrugged and asked, "Are we going home now?"

"Not yet," I decided just then, "Ice cream."

Kurt's mouth opened a little and his eyes widened in surprise. "I'm not in trouble?"

"Well, I would rather you told me what happened first. I also figured you would be hot after being in that tree for so long." I turned the car to the exit of the nearest ice-cream parlour. "Would you rather go home and sit in your room?"

Kurt shook his head and began to move his legs backwards and forwards which was usually a sign when he was comfortable.

O-O-O

Kurt was in a much better mood when we got to the ice cream parlour. He already knew exactly what he wanted, _"Strawberry Sundae! Strawberry Sundae!" _ While I went for a more chunky mix ice cream with caramel and chocolate. Like the car, we were both fairly silent, but it was a more comfortable silence as we ate our ice cream.

"Are you going to explain to me why you went all George of the jungle on me, Kurt?" Kurt just looked at me confused, so I said "Ok, clearly that is next on our rental list." I changed my wording. "Would you like to explain why you were in that tree today?"

"It's a long story..." Kurt began to drag his spoon across his sundae.

"Well, let's get started before the ice cream melts."

Kurt gave a little smile, but it disappeared just as quickly. "Kids at school were making fun of my Barbie and calling me a girl." A bit of pink coloured Kurt's cheeks.

Damn. I had been afraid of that. I gave a lick of my ice cream before I said, "That's definitely not nice and me and your mommy may need to speak to some parents, but that does not explain how you got stuck in a tree."

"They took my Barbie... and wouldn't give it back... so I said I could climb that tree to show them I'm a girl."

I raised my eyebrows. "You climbed a tree to show the boys you are not a girl?"

"Yeah..."

I chuckled a little. "And then you got stuck."

Kurt's cheeks turned from pink to red, but a smile also re-appeared. "Yeah... I got a little too high."

"I could see that." I threw the left over's of my ice cream into the garbage can. "Alright, Kurt, I think it's good that you stood up for yourself. It shows you have guts like your daddy." I gave him a little wink and he rudely rolled his eyes. "Hey! None of that!" A small chuckle was heard. "But the point is... you could have really hurt yourself. Hell, you nearly did with that jumping stunt you pulled."

Kurt looked down and I could see his eyes were getting a little red again. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry. But, kids can be mean and I am sorry you have to face that." I kept quiet about my hidden fears that it might just get worse in the future.

If I was a coward, I would use this opportunity to get Kurt to change. I would tell him to stop playing with the Barbie doll and kids would be nicer. I would tell him to blend in with the others and he would find himself with so many new friends. He would not get teased, and I would not stay up at night trying to keep away from nightmares that showed my son being attacked for whom he is or who he just might be.  
>Instead I said, "But those mean kids? They are not worth you getting hurt. They are also not worth you having to prove yourself to them. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, Kurt." The conversation had gotten a little serious, so I said, "Your ice cream melted."<p>

Kurt smiled and just picked up his cherry; he put the cherry in his hand and held it towards me. "Do you want it?"

"I'm good." I held out my hand. "Are you ready to go home?"

Kurt quickly took my hand and put the cherry in his mouth.

"Kurt?"

"Mmm?"

"You do know a lot of girls climb trees, right?"

Kurt took the cherry out of his mouth, "Really?"

"Yup."

"Huh."

"And, Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

I gave his hand a little squeeze. "No more tree climbing for you."

**Blah! Finally finished this! I tried to make this a happy chapter, but a little sadness found its way through. Hopefully not too much, though. Warning right now: The next two chapters ****will**** be sad. Though, you can blame what happens in canon Glee and not me. That should be a clue right there.**

**What did you guys think of Prom Queen? I am torn about it. Feel free to leave your thoughts in review or message. I hope to get the next chapter out quickly!**


	4. Edleweiss

**Disclaimer: See chapter one**

**Authors note: Thanks ****agleekinfreakingirl, SnazzMaster842 and Lady Dragoness**** for your kind reviews on the last chapter. I am happy to see you guys are enjoying this little story.  
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**Authors note two: Good news: Yay quick update! Bad news: This chapter is a bit shorter than usual and a lot sadder than the previous chapters. For such a sad chapter I didn't want to drag the length on for so long and I wanted to get with the point. I still hope you guys enjoy.**

Kurt was eight years old when I first heard him sing.

Well, there is a bit of false truth in that statement. It was the first time I heard him _really _sing. Kurt did love to sing. He would scream out his favourite show tunes and the songs would definitely carry around the house- even to the poor sleeping folk. Apart from that, until that point I hadn't really heard Kurt sing. He would sometimes softly hum in the car, but whenever I encouraged to really sing something in front of me he would get nervous and avoid it. I knew he sang with Linda sometimes, but I understood that musicals and singing was something they shared together and it was their special thing that didn't include me. I just liked Linda telling me that his voice was lovely.

Unfortunately I cannot say that I first heard Kurt sing under the best circumstances. Bad circumstances cannot even come close to describing what was happening to our little family. Lisa's health had taken a turn for the worse and there was nothing really we could do about it.

When Linda was first diagnosed, the doctors were fairly optimistic- it took me a bit to realize that they were being so encouraging in the hope that we would choose them to be Linda's doctor. As we moved through different treatments, the encouraging acts continued. "No, this didn't work as we hoped, but treatment has gotten some positive results, so why don't we give this a try..."  
>Yes, the doctors were quite encouraging, but as each treatment failed, so did a bit of Linda's hope. I could always tell where Linda's mental state was with her smile. We had both decided to tell Kurt about her illness together, but Linda took the lead and she had a fairly large smile on her face- this could have been for her own sake or for Kurts- but it seemed to work for the both of them. She found a way to smile through most of her first treatments, she told me she was doing okay, and I tried to convince myself the same thing.<br>Soon things took a turn for the worse. Soon Linda couldn't bear to smile during the treatments anymore. As each hair fell out, so did the hope that I would see just a bit of that true smile again. She would force her face to make a smile shape for Kurt, but even at eight he could see the falsity in the smile.

Soon, just like the smiles, the doctor's encouragement began to stop as well. Where there were once hopeful looks, and pages full positive of statistics of treatments, there were now looks of grim, and pages with stats of Lisa's health and how her body was failing her.

At some point everyone lost hope.

Kurt was confused when I brought Linda home from the hospital. "I thought she stayed there so she can get better" he had said, I had made the mistake on not saying anything, and at that instant- even though I wished and wished he wouldn't have to- Kurt had understood. There was no getting better.

We tried to keep things as normal as possible. Soon the life we knew would crash from under our feet, so we needed to embrace the time we had left. I am not that much of an emotional person, but I found myself staying in bed, keeping my form wrapped around Linda's scarily small body far longer than I should have. _Screw going into work on time_ I had thought. Linda would convince me to go but not cause' she didn't want me there, but because we both knew we would need the money when she was gone.

What was the most important was keeping things as normal for Kurt. Kurt was a smart kid, he knew he would not have his mommy as long as other kids did; but he kept those scary thoughts to himself and pretended like things were okay.

Music was always Linda's and Kurt's special getaway. Their musicals were their own special world I couldn't begin to understand. When Linda was healthy, both Linda and Kurt would twirl and dance to musicals like _The Sound of Music, Grease, Annie, Hello Dolly_. They would cry in the sad musicals like _Les Miserables _or _West side story._ Even when Linda was sick, they would watch their musicals together. It didn't matter if it was at home or in the hospital, those videos would find their way on to the television screens. Even when Linda was not feeling well, she would always sing during the musicals. Linda had a beautiful voice. It was powerful voice that can be heard anywhere. Sometimes I think that she should have been on the stage instead of being stuck with me.

Eventually, Linda got too sick and she couldn't sing anymore. Kurt and Linda would still watch their musicals, but unlike the commotion that would have happened earlier, it was fairly quiet and just not right.

One night, about a week before Linda died, I heard something different from Linda's bedroom. Linda and Kurt were watching _Sound of Music._ I've heard that movie so many times that I could recognize that film from the simplest sounds or most random dialogue. I was about to bring in Linda's lunch- I knew she would barely be able to eat any of it, but I would never forget one of her meals- when I heard the voice that will be engraved in my mind forever.

_Edelweiss, Edelweiss  
>Every morning you greet me<em>

The voice was high, soft and pure. It was so unlike Linda's, but just as powerful in a different way.

_Small and white clean and bright  
>You look happy to meet me<em>

I opened the door slightly and there was Linda and Kurt lying close together in the bed. Linda had clearly fallen asleep during the movie, but Kurt was still gently sliding his finger back and forth on her cheek-singing along with the film like she used to.

_Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow  
>Bloom and grow forever<br>_.  
>I may have made a sound, or moved too quickly cause Kurt noticed me then; Kurt's eyes moving from Linda's face to my direction. Of course I didn't know what to say. "Do you... do you want something to eat?"<p>

Kurt shook his head and then looked back at the film. I got the hint. This was his and Linda's time, one of the few they had left, and I was interrupting it.

"I will be downstairs if you need anything..."

I saw Kurt nod, then I left and shut the door behind me.

Kurt was probably behind from the movie, but I still heard the end of the verse when I left.

_Edelweiss, Edelweiss  
>Bless my homeland forever.<em>

For the sake of my broken heart, I try to not remember the obvious voice crack that I heard at the end of that song.

**...Please Review? I promise I will get back to happier chapters after the next one.  
>xoxo<strong>__


	5. It's ok to cry

**Bahhh! Sorry for the long wait guys! At first I admit I had a writer's block that I had trouble conquering and when I finally did recover my muse, my power went out. At first this was a good thing because I could write this story without the distraction of the internet, but then my computer finally died and I could not charge it without power. Well, here it is finally! I will say that this is most likely the most depressing chapter of the series. It had to happen, but thankfully it's all up from here. I hope you guys still enjoy it.**

**Lots of thanks to agleekinfreakin girl, mumimeanjudi, Hazins, and Gunther 123 for your lovely reviews on the previous chapter. As always you guys are the reason I write this.**

**Warning: A little bit of foul language. **

Kurt was eight and a half when his mother died.

It happened in such a blur. The Doctor's had given us her death sentence months ago and I saw her deteriorate in my own eyes but apparently a large part of me never actually expected her to actually leave.

_Time of death 7:22 AM.  
><em>  
>I stood at the back of the hospital room at a loss of what to do. After years of having Lisa in and out of the hospital I was used to the policy of standing in the back and let the doctors to their thing to save my wife, but I had never witnessed them not succeeding at what I depended on them to do. Linda's vitals would always get stronger, or restart again, and the doctor would wipe the sweat off of his forehead, tell me things I would need to look out for and remind me to page me if anything changed. He never just stopped, let my wife's precious heart stop beating and look with me with those pitiful eyes.<p>

His hand felt distant on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Burt."

But this was just a dream. Linda's prognosis and vital stats all said the same thing and that Linda's death was going to occur but it was never supped to actually _happen. _This stuff happened in Lifetime movies, in the news, to other people's families, or in episodes of Oprah when I would pretend I wasn't crying but actually was.

"Burt?"

"I...uhh... I'm here." I knew that was not the appropriate thing to say but it was the only thing that came to my head at the time.

The doctor's- what was his name again? - face clouded with sympathy. "Do you need to sit down?"

No, I did not need to sit down. I needed to not see my dead wife on a hospital bed being disconnected from machines that were previously keeping her alive. I needed my wife back. I needed my son to have his mother back. _  
><em>  
>Oh yeah... <em>Kurt.<em>

I closed my eyes and just tried to breathe. That's what people did they were trying not to hyperventilate right?

"I- umm..." _Was this raspy voice really mine? _"I should... talk to my son. I should talk to Kurt."

The doctor nodded and finally took his damn hand off of my shoulder. "Please let us know if you need anything."

I gave a curt nod, did my best to put one foot in front of the other, and as I walked out of the Hospital doors I knew I was walking into a world which Linda was not a part of anymore. I was not sure if I was ready.

O-O-O-O-O-O

With a trembling hand I managed to insert my key into the keyhole. I don't know how I managed to drive home- God knows my attention was elsewhere- but I made it home alive. At least I was one parent Kurt still had alive.

I couldn't help but notice that the voice in my head sounded quite bitter over that fact that it was me and not her.

I made my way up the stairs, not bothering to take off my jacket and shoes, and I heard Linda's voice saying in her one of a kind tone, _Are you aware of the mess you are making to my clean floors? _ But the floors were not clean. Linda had been too sick to be neat freak that she usually was and my first thought in all this mess was not to clean the fucking floor or the stairs. Of course, it occurred to me that Linda would never nag about the floor or be all OCD about cleaning them again. I kicked off my shoes and threw them off the stair case where they hit the door.

_Thud. Thud._

I finally got to the top of the staircase and I found my way to Kurt's closed door. It was a bit passed Eight AM and it was a Sunday so Kurt wouldn't be up for at least another half-hour. _Should I wake him up and tell him the news? _I had thought, _Or should I let him sleep a bit longer? Let him have happiness a bit longer everything he knew changes?_

I actually didn't have to make that decision because I heard soft walking sounds coming from Kurt's bedroom. I opened the door, and sure enough Kurt was walking around his room, all dressed for the day. He looked surprised to see me.

"Hey dad," He made his way to his bed and sat down.

I made a few tiny steps into his bedroom and croaked out, "Hey." To my dismay, the same raspy voice from the hospital was still present.

Kurt seemed to had noticed. Kurt frowned in a way that scrunched his whole little face together. "You're home earlier than you said you'd be."

Not really able to find a reply, I just said, "You're up early."

Kurt shrugged and muttered, "Couldn't really sleep."  
>"Wait-"I looked around the room stupidly, "Where is Mrs. Baker?"<p>

"Downstairs- She fell asleep on the couch."

I chewed the inside of my mouth. I probably should had sent her home first... Mrs. Baker had been a huge help to the family and she had her own children to look after... I was surprised she didn't wake up after the whole shoe debacle.

"Daddy... are you alright?" I looked back at him. Kurt looked back at me with his eyes wide and filled with concern. A little after Kurt had turned seven, he convinced himself he was too old to call me 'Daddy" so from then on I was just called 'Dad.' I must had really looked like shit.

Not getting a reply, Kurt just continued. "Your face is all white and you have baggies under your eyes."

"Kurt, I umm..." I swallowed thickly. "We- We need to _talk." _My raspy voice finally gave up and just croaked on the last word.

Kurt, being a child and not aware that is a sentence usually heard when facing a break-up, put two and two together immediately. He looked at me, his eyes wider for a second and his mouth in a silent 'O' shape, but then closed it and then brought his chin to his knees. "You don't have to say it."

Not knowing what else to say, Linda was the one who was the master of words, I just made my way forward to his bed and sat down. My hand found his shoulder, and I was thankful he didn't push it away. What the hell do you say to her kid when his mom dies? I just wanted a manual or a pamphlet that told me everything I needed to say or do to make this right. Why wasn't there a "_Talking your son after their mother croaks for Dummies?_"

Thinking of what I had heard in those damn _Lifetime _movies, I whispered, "She is not in any pain anymore. She is at peace."

Kurt didn't say anything, _what do you say to that?_ So we just sat there and fought our grief in silence. It was one of the few times I found Kurt was like me.

O-O-O-O-O

Eventually I sent Mrs. Baker on her way. She was very sympathetic and offered to bake us a casserole but what got to me was when she said she would help with the funeral.

_Oh yeah._

Apparently it was not enough to just live after your wife dies, or be a single father and help _him_ through all this crap: You need to plan a party to bury your wife. Just fucking excellent.  
>Though, to Mrs. Baker's credit, she stayed true to her word. She helped make phone calls I didn't want to make and got other people helping as well. Soon Kurt and I were stuffing god knows how many unknown dishes into our fridge and freezer and more and more people came by offering to help.<p>

It turns out I didn't have to do much. I picked out Linda's favourite flowers which would be placed around the room and her casket and I sent the funeral home the dress she had wore in one our family photos. There were other tedious things, but they happened in such a blur I wouldn't be able to remember if I tried.

Eventually the funeral took place. Me and Kurt were dressed in our best suits and the beginning was basically saying thank you to a bunch of people who came to offer their sympathy. There were a few I knew, a bunch I didn't, but Linda touched a whole bunch of people so I wasn't too bugged by that.

One thing that was bothering me was Kurt. He was being well behaved, said the right things when people offered sympathy and didn't even say anything when people pinched his cheeks and told him how cute he was.

But that was the thing... Kurt was not saying much of _anything. _Kurt's not a kid to hold his emotions, at least not at home. When Kurt's upset he would scream, cry-most would happen when I put some of his precious clothes in the dryer when they weren't supposed to be dried in there. But his mom had just died and there was not as much of a tear from the kid. He kept himself in his room a lot, but when I came to check on him he was usually just playing on the keyboard Linda and I got him when she got sick. (Something needed to distract the poor kid.)

The night before the funeral, I was washing the plates that were dirty with pepperoni from the pizza we had just ordered and Kurt cleaning off some of the junk off the table. Getting frustrated with all the silence, I just blurted out, "You can cry, you know."  
>Probably not the right thing you can say to a grieving kid –I really needed that Dummy book-but Kurt just paused for a second and spoke softly "I know."<p>

And that was that.

Eventually every made their way to where Linda would be put to rest. I sort of went through the motions like I was in a haze. Like the person they were about to bury was not my wife.

A few words were said, words I would not be able to remember at the moment, and then she made her way down.

_Down, Down, Down._

It was a small noise that brought me back to reality.  
>I looked to my left and there was Kurt with his eyes red and puffy and silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He had his hand slightly over his mouth as if trying to hide the little sobs he was making that sounded more like hiccups.<p>

_Hiccup, Hiccup. _

Only my son could bring me back to a reality I didn't really want to be in.

A life without Linda will be harsh and painful. It will be dark and Lord knows I don't but have a map to find my way. But I was all Kurt had. Linda was the miracle parent; she was the one who knew all of the answers and in a cruel twist of fate I was the parent that stayed.

But I needed to suck it up. Things were going to be completely shitty, but there was a kid that needed me to plow through the crap and be there for him. Not knowing what else to do, wishing I just had a bit of Linda's magic with Kurt, I took his hand. __

Kurt stopped crying for a moment and just turned his head to look at the hand holding his. His breath caught for a moment, his eyes filling with more tears, and then he began sobbing harder. He cried, and cried, and cried. People were beginning to stare, but I just squeezed his hand harder.

And then it was over. Soon the grave site started to empty out and we would have to leave. Kurt kept his death grip on my hand sending the clear message, _Please do not let go, _so I didn't. For the rest of the day and night our hands stayed clamped together. For maybe a few minutes Kurt would go off to the washroom or grab one of the snacks available and then come back to put his hand in my palm which I of course left open. _  
><em>  
>O-O-O-O<p>

After a very long day we made our way home. I drove silently and Kurt sat in the front. It was the first time since the grave site that we didn't have our hands together.

"Would you like some music?"

Taking that as a yes, Kurt dug through the glove compartment and picked out a CD. Sure enough, it was _The Sound of Music _soundtrack. "Do you mind if we play this?"

"Course' not" I ruffed out.

Kurt popped the CD in and _My Favorite Things _began to play.

My eyes burned a little.

_Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens  
>Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens<br>Brown paper packages tied up with strings  
>These are a few of my favorite things<em>

Kurt actually smiled a little. "Mom liked this one."

My hand gripped harder on the wheel. "She did." I was very displeased that my raspy voice had returned.  
><em><br>Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels  
>Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles<br>Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings  
>These are a few of my favorite things<em>

"It's okay to cry, you know."

My previous words to Kurt used towards me got me startled. I looked at him and he looked at me

_Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes  
>Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes<br>Silver white winters that melt into springs  
>These are a few of my favorite things<em>

I gave him a smile and that or had not been genuine. "I know."

Confident that I could drive the five minute drive to home safely with one hand on the wheel, I laid out my hand to Kurt and he grabbed it.

Maybe I needed Kurt just as much as he needed me.  
><em><br>When the dog bites  
>When the bee stings<br>When I'm feeling sad  
>I simply remember my favorite things<br>And then I don't feel so bad_

**I promise next chapter will be lighter. I can't guarantee Kurt and Burt will be up dancing under the circumstances but it is lighter than the previous two chapters. Hope to see you all there! xoxo**


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